5 Promising Social Sites for Students – http://pulse.me/s/8VrUQ
Category Archives: education
Are You a Poor Communicator? Stop the Damage and Improve Relationships | Psychology Today
Are You a Poor Communicator? Stop the Damage and Improve Relationships | Psychology Today – http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201205/are-you-poor-communicator-stop-the-damage-and-improve-relationship?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews
The Four Characteristics of Ineffective Communication
“Trouble comes from the mouth.”
–Chinese Proverb
1. “You” Language Plus Directives
Ineffective communication is often characterized by the use of certain types of “you” language, such as “you are. . .,” “you should. . .,” “you need to. . .,” “you have to. . .,” “you’d better. . .,” and “you people. . . .” Directives are statements that either pass negative judgment, or order another person around. Some examples of “you” language plus a directive include:
“You are not good enough. . .”
“You should pay attention. . .”
“You need to do this now. . .”
“You have to understand my position. . .”
“You better get it right. . .”
“You people should behave. . .”
Most people don’t like being judged or told what to do, and when we use “you” language plus directives, it’s easy to arouse in others feelings of resentment and defensiveness. This type of communication is also problematic in that it tends to invite a “no” response, resulting in disagreements and conflicts.
It’s important to note that there are “you” statements that are good for communication. For example, “you-positive” statements are simply sentences that begin with the word “you,” followed by a positive comment (“you did a good job on this project”; “you have a wonderful personality”). “You-neutral” statements are sentences that begin with “you,” followed by a factual or informative comment (“you’re the third person to arrive”; “you’ll find more information by reading this article”). In general, there’s nothing wrong with using “you-positive” or “you-neutral” statements. It’s “you-directive” that is ineffective communication.
2. Universal Statements
Universal statements are expressions that generalize a person’s character or behavior in a negative way. The most common types of universal statements involve the use of words such as “always,” “never,” “again,” “so,” “every time,” “such a,” and “everyone.” Universal statements are often used in combination with “you” language. For example:
“You always leave the toilet seat up.”
“You never put the tooth paste cap back on.”
“You’re messing up again!”
“You are so lazy!”
“You forget to do this every time!”
“You’re such a slob!”
“Everyone knows that you’re bad.”
Universal statements are problematic in many ways. First, in the mindset of the speaker, there is no possibility of the listener being any other way. The potential to change is discounted. Second, because universal statements tend to point out “what is wrong,” instead of “how to be better,” such statements actually discourage change. Finally, just as with examples of “you” language earlier, universal statements can easily be disputed. If I say to you, “you never wash the dishes,” all you need to do is to come up with one exception, “that’s not true, Preston, I washed the dishes once last year,” and you have successfully contradicted my statement. The general nature of universal statements makes them very vulnerable to specific counterexamples.
Universal statements are essentially over-generalized, negative judgments. It is especially important to avoid using universals when communicating with children, as such statements can adversely affect their self-esteem.
For tips on relationship success, see my articles Five Keys to Enhancing Your Emotional Intelligence,Seven Ways to Say “No” and Keep Good Relations,and Eight Keys to Life Hardiness and Resiliency.
3. Tough on the Person, Soft on the Issue
In every communication situation involving another person, there are two elements present: the person you are relating to, and the issue or behavior you are addressing. Effective communicators know how to separate the issue or the behavior from the person, and be soft on the person and tough on the issue. Ineffective communicators will do the opposite. They literally “get personal” by being tough on the person, while minimizing or ignoring the issue or the behavior.
For example:
Ineffective communication: “You are so stupid!” Effective communication: “You’re a smart person, and what you did this morning was not very smart.”
Ineffective communication: “You never clean up. You’re a slob!” Effective communication: “I noticed that you didn’t wash the dishes this week.”
Ineffective communication: “You are a poor student.” Effective communication: “You can do well in this class, and I noticed that you got a “C” on your last exam.”
You may have noticed the use of “and” instead of “but” in two of the examples above. “But” is a negator which can discount the significance of what is said before and puts the real meaning of the sentence on what comes after. (I like you as a friend, but. . . .) “Yes, but. . .” often times means “no.” So if you don’t mean to negate the first part of your sentence, use “and” instead of “but.” “And” is a connector which places equal emphasis on both what is said before and after.
Being tough on the person and soft on the issue can easily arouse negative reactions from people, who are likely to take what you’re saying more personally, and as a result feel angry, resentful, hurt or resistant. Note that tough on the person and soft on the issue also involves the frequent use of “you” statements and universals.
4. Invalidate Feelings
Invalidation of feelings occurs when we recognize emotions, positive or negative, coming out of a person, and either discount, belittle, minimize, ignore or negatively judge these feelings.
For example:
“Your concerns are meaningless to me!”
“Your complaints are totally unfounded.”
“You’re blowing things way out of proportion.”
“Who cares if you’re angry? Stop over-reacting!”
“So what if you got a B in math? I used to get A’s all the time.”
“Don’t feel so happy—your improvement really means very little.”
When a person’s positive feeling is invalidated, her or his positive feeling will likely diminish or disappear. As positive feelings decrease, so does desirable behavior, and the strength of the relationship. When a person’s negative feeling is invalidated, her or his negative feeling will likely intensify and linger. As negative feelings increase, so does undesirable behavior, and barrier in the relationship.
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Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work | Video on TED.com
Police handcuff Ga. kindergartner for tantrum – Yahoo! News
Police handcuff Ga. kindergartner for tantrum – Yahoo! News.
The school called police. The police report says when an officer tried to calm the child in the principal’s office, she resisted and was handcuffed. The girl was charged with simple assault and damage to property.
Police Chief Dray Swicord says the department’s policy is to handcuff people in certain situations.
“Our policy states that any detainee transported to our station in a patrol vehicle is to be handcuffed in the back and there is no age discrimination on that rule,” Milledgeville Police Chief Dray Swicord told WMAZ.
The girl’s aunt, Candace Ruff, went with the child’s mother to pick her up from the police station. She Salecia was by herself in a holding cell and complained about the handcuffs.
“She said they were really tight. She said they really hurt her wrists,” Ruff told the Associated Press. “She was so shaken up when we went there to pick her up.”
Officials at Creekside Elementary did not immediately return calls Tuesday.
“We would not like to see this happen to another child, because it’s horrifying. It’s devastating,” Ruff said.
Fighting Famines with Markets: In Ethiopia, an Exchange Empowers Rural Farmers – Business – GOOD
Fighting Famines with Markets: In Ethiopia, an Exchange Empowers Rural Farmers – Business – GOOD.
Before the ECX, if the price of coffee shot up on New York markets, the price of coffee in Ethiopia would rise—unbeknownst to farmers isolated in rural markets. Traders aware of the price spike could buy low from farmers and sell high on national markets.
“If everybody gets that information at the same time,” says Gabre-Madhin, “then the local market follows exactly what happens in the national market, and even the international market, so that means those margins start to get squeezed.”
Pre-ECX studies estimated that a farmer’s share of the final export price of coffee was 35-38 percent.
“Now, we’ve been measuring it and tracking it between 65 and 70 percent,” she says, “so that basically means that there’s a tremendous shrinking of the margins between the rural and the national price.”
Most farm plots in Ethiopia are so small that a farmer may have only three or four sacks of produce to bring to market, so he might organize within his village’s co-op to fill one of the trucks that transports commodities to ECX warehouses throughout the country. Each truck holds 50 hundred-kilo bags, or five metric tons, which has become the standard contracting unit.
“We sort of took the same logic,” says Gabre-Madhin, “as when Chicago started in the 1840s. The size of what went into a railroad car in the Midwest is what became the contract size because that was a logical unit.”
With its warehouses, the Exchange has increased quality. Farmers used to haul harvests to market without knowing how their crops stacked up compared to others, and traders could often swindle them into selling high quality for a middling price. In the ECX system, commodities that enter a warehouse are immediately graded at a laboratory. Prices for each grade are available through the data system, and criteria to differentiate, for example, Grade 1 coffee from Grade 2 coffee are published and available to sellers and buyers. This third-party grading system circumvents buyers’ incentives to under-value farmers’ output.
At first, farmers at one co-op were angry because they perpetually received the lowest coffee price posted on the Exchange. A manager then pulled out the standards document and explained why their crop was graded poorly—shriveled beans weren’t removed, the coffee hadn’t been dried properly, dirt was mixed in with the beans. The farmers took notice and decided to control for quality. Over the first year-and-a-half it was traded, Ethiopia’s volume of highest-grade coffee tripled.
“That’s because these farmers,” says Gabre-Madhin, “who for probably 20 years have been told to do the very same thing but saw no reason to, now had an incentive to actually invest time and effort into getting better quality to market.”
“I think a lot of countries are excited about what we’ve done here in Ethiopia,” she says, and it seems that other African countries are eager to build exchanges of their own. Ghana plans to open a commodity exchange based on the ECX by the end of 2012, with hopes of improving internal food distribution as well as bolstering agricultural exports.
Gabre-Madhin also sees eventual opportunities for countries to cooperate across borders, citing the example of a regional coffee index that could give East African countries more leverage on international markets, and provide more benefits for small-scale farmers in places Ethiopia.
“Many countries are interested [in cooperating], but’s going to happen organically,” she says. “It’s going to happen because there’s a business logic to it.”
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H2O Conserve – 75 water saving tips
Water-Saving Tips Here you’ll find over 75 tips to help you reduce your water footprint. The recommendations on this list will not only help you save water, they will also save you money, even if some tips cost a little money up-front. Remember, these tips are just the beginning. Keep challenging yourself to find other ways to save water every day!
Etsy Narrows the Gender Gap with a Coding Scholarship for Women
Men Are Becoming the Undereducated Gender
Men Are Becoming the Undereducated Gender – http://pulse.me/s/80YvP
Men Are Becoming the Undereducated Gender By Peter Coy April 11, 2012 3:11 PM EDT
Craig Torres of Bloomberg News has an alarming story today about how men are lagging in the job market because of under-education.
“It is terrific that women are getting higher levels of education,” Harvard University economist David Autor told Torres. “The problem is that males are not.”
This chart, based on data I downloaded today from the National Center for Education Statistics, shows the education gap between men and women is long-standing—and getting worse. By 2019, the center projects, there will be nearly three women in college classrooms for every two men.
The marketplace is shouting loud and clear that going to college pays off. The unemployment rate in March for people with a bachelor’s degree or higher was just 4.2 percent (PDF), the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported last Friday. The rate for people with a high school education was 8 percent, while the rate for people with no high school diploma was 12.6 percent.
Compare college costs with online tool
Compare college costs with online tool – http://pulse.me/s/83VDP
The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is launching a new online tool to help students compare the cost of college.
WASHINGTON (CNNMoney) — The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau on Wednesday released a new online tool it’s testing to help families compare the costs of attending different colleges and universities.
The bureau launched the financial aid online tool to help families estimate the cost of a degree at up to three different individual schools.
While the tool won’t reveal the exact the cost of an education for an individual student, it can help families evaluate financial aid packages offered at each school. On the website, students can plug in the amount of aid they were offered to compare schools.
Washington regulators are increasingly focusing on students’ ability to afford college in the wake of rising student loan debt, which has topped a trillion dollars. More alarming to officials: Since the recession, more students have been defaulting on loans or have fallen been falling behind in their payments.
“Our Financial Aid Comparison Shopper helps students make apples-to-apples comparisons of their offers and pick the one that works best for their financial future,” said Richard Cordray, director of the consumer bureau, in a statement.
The online tool has data for more than 7,500 state universities, private colleges, community colleges and vocational schools, according to the bureau. Students who plug in financial aid offers can compare monthly student loan payments after graduation. They can also figure out debt level at graduation compared to average starting salaries.
Pell grants to cover lowest amount in history: think progress
Pell Grants Next Year Will Cover Smallest Percentage Of College Costs In Their History
http://thinkprogress.org/education/2012/04/09/461078/pell-grants-smallest-percentage-cost/?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews&mobile=nc
By Pat Garofalo on Apr 9, 2012 at 6:50 pm
Since 1985, the combined cost of college tuition and fees has gone up by about 559 percent,leading to outstanding student loan debt that, by some estimates, has cleared $1 trillion. As colleges have kept on increasing their costs, financial aid has failed to keep up.
Case in point, according to the Institute for College Access and Success, a non-profit organization aiming to expand higher education accessibility, Pell Grants next year will cover the smallest percentage of overall college costs since the creation of the program:
The program has not been able to keep up with ever-escalating college prices: Since 2008, annual spending on the Pell Grant program has more than doubled, to nearly $40 billion, and thanks to the Obama administration and Congress, the maximum grant has jumped from $4,731 to $5,550 (and is scheduled to rise again to $5,635 in fiscal year 2013). Despite these increases, the maximum Pell Grant is expected to cover less than one-third of the average cost of attendance at public four-year colleges next year –a level that would be, according to the Institute for College Access and Success (TICAS), “the lowest in history.”
Just 30 years ago, Pell Grants covered nearly 70 percent of the cost of college:
Over those 30 years, the U.S. has made exactly zero progress in terms of increasing its college graduation rate. Instead of doing anything to address this, House Republicans approved a budget that eliminates Pell Grants for up to one million students.
The Science of Fox News: Why Its Viewers are the Most Misinformed: via Alternet
In other words Fox News is both deceiver and enabler simultaneously. First, its existence creates the opportunity for conservatives to exercise their biases, by selecting into the Fox information stream, and also by imbibing Fox-style arguments and claims that can then fuel biased reasoning about politics, science, and whatever else comes up.
But at the same time, it’s also likely that conservatives, tending to be more closed-minded and more authoritarian, have a stronger emotional need for an outlet like Fox, where they can find affirmation and escape from the belief challenges constantly presented by the “liberal media.” Their psychological need for something affirmative is probably stronger than what’s encountered on the opposite side of the aisle—as is their revulsion towards allegedly liberal (but really centrist) media outlets.
And thus we find, at the root of our political dysfunction, a classic nurture-nature mélange. The penchant for selective exposure is rooted in our psychology and our brains. Closed-mindedness and authoritarianism—running stronger in some of us than in others—likely are as well.
But nevertheless, it took the emergence of a station like Fox News before these tendencies could be fully activated—polarizing America not only over politics, but over reality itself.
Chris Mooney is the author of four books, including “The Republican War on Science” (2005). His new book is “The Republican Brain: The Science of Why They Deny Science—and Reality”.
© 2012 Independent Media Institute. All rights reserved.
View this story online at: http://www.alternet.org/story/154875/
via AlterNet: The Science of Fox News: Why Its Viewers are the Most Misinformed.
5 Ways to Avoid Getting Busted for Pot | | AlterNet
5 Ways to Avoid Getting Busted for Pot | | AlterNet.
5 Ways to Avoid Getting Busted for Pot
By Scott Morgan, AlterNet
Posted on April 9, 2012, Printed on April 10, 2012
http://www.alternet.org/story/154845/5_ways_to_avoid_getting_busted_for_pot
Each year, close to a million Americans are arrested for possessing marijuana, and many millions more are targeted and searched by police on suspicion of being a marijuana user. It’s an incredible waste of limited law enforcement resources, and the experience of being harassed, arrested, and slapped with a criminal record isn’t exactly getting rave reviews from anyone either. Heck, even cops are getting sick of this idiocy.
I’ve spent several years teaching the public how to deal with police. I’ve heard more than my share of horror stories from people who froze up when confronted by the cops and soon found themselves in the back of a squad car. When that happens, chances are it wasn’t because they hurt someone, but rather, because they possessed a small amount of marijuana.
Now that half the nation is in favor of legalizing marijuana, there is hope that we’ll soon see a day when none of us are placed in handcuffs for having a little pot in our pockets. But until then, those who use marijuana –- whether to treat an illness, or simply as part of a healthy lifestyle –- should have a plan prepared just in case they find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The following tips are designed to help responsible adults avoid becoming statistics in our nation’s enormous, expensive and embarrassing war on marijuana.
1. Don’t Consent to Searches
This is a pretty straightforward concept, but a lot of people get hung up on worrying how the officer will react. Don’t. Just be cool and keep in mind that agreeing to a search will automatically lead to your arrest if you’re in possession of marijuana. Refusing will often prevent the search, but even it doesn’t, you’ll have a better chance of winning the case once you get to court.
2. Don’t Let Them Into Your House
If you enjoy marijuana, then you probably don’t want police officers coming inside your house. Unfortunately, cops are quite good at convincing you to let them in. They might make it sound like you don’t have a choice, or simply try to convince you they’re not looking to get anyone in trouble. Whatever they say, your answer should stay the same: No. Unless they have a search warrant, they can’t come in without your permission. Your best move is to politely explain that you’re not letting anyone in without a warrant.
3. Ask if You’re Free to Go
The longer your police encounter lasts, the greater the risk of something going wrong. If you refuse a search, officers will often say, “okay, wait here,” or they might even threaten to “call in the dogs.” What they won’t tell you is that they may not actually have any legal authority to make you stay. Police need evidence (reasonable suspicion) to justify detaining you, and refusing a search doesn’t count.
If you don’t feel like hanging out with the cops, ask if you’re free to go. If they say “yes,” leave immediately. If they say “no,” then you’re being detained and they will need to prove in court that they had a legal reason to detain you. Even if they search you and find marijuana, the fact that you asked to leave before the search will improve your chances in court, because any evidence found during an illegal detention is not admissible. The legal concepts here get a bit complicated, but just remember that after you refuse a search you should also ask if you can leave.
4. Don’t Do Dumb Stuff in Public
When the temptation to put fun before common sense takes over, the consequences can be quick and vicious. Knowing your rights can increase your odds of avoiding trouble, but if officers actually observe you committing a crime, the only tip I can give you is to call a good lawyer. If police see, smell, or hear evidence of criminal activity, that’s all the grounds they need to search and arrest you.
Remember that good herb reeks, literally spilling a cloud of probable cause in every direction. Lighting up in cars, parks, dorms and other exposed areas is just asking for trouble. Some regions are more lenient than others, but don’t push your luck, and don’t assume it’s okay just because you see others doing it. I’ve seen people get popped for pot in Berkeley of all places, so remember there are no drug-war-free zones in America yet. Be cool, and watch your back.
5. Don’t Snitch on Yourself
It’s tempting to think that honesty will win you some points with police. Heck, they’ll even promise to cut you a break in exchange for a straight answer. But coming clean is a mistake you’ll regret seconds later when they order you to put your hands behind your back. Most people don’t think pot is a big deal, so it’s easy for the cops to convince you they don’t care about it either. But it’s their job to bust you for pot, and they’re allowed to lie if necessary to trick you into cooperating. If they didn’t care, they wouldn’t ask.
If police are asking you incriminating questions, just politely tell them you choose to remain silent until you’ve spoken with a lawyer.
This is the most helpful advice I can give for protecting yourself from the tricks police use to bust millions of Americans for marijuana. But remember that knowing your rights and watching your back will only get you so far. Escaping unscathed from a scary police encounter also requires controlling your emotions and remaining calm and cool.
Maintaining a relaxed attitude is the key to pulling off tactics such as refusing searches, asking if you’re free to go, and declining to answer incriminating questions. Even if you do everything right, there’s still a chance you’ll end up in court fighting for your freedom, but your odds of winning will be far greater if you’ve calmly asserted your rights throughout the encounter.
I’d like to hear any strategies I might have missed. What’s your favorite tip for preventing a pot bust?
Scott Morgan is associate director of FlexYourRights.org and co-creator of the film 10 Rules for Dealing with Police.
© 2012 Independent Media Institute. All rights reserved.
View this story online at: http://www.alternet.org/story/154845/
References
http://blog.norml.org/2011/09/19/marijuana-arrests-driving-americas-so-called-drug-war-latest-fbi-data-shows/
http://www.leap.cc/
Race-Specific Groups Take Aim at Academic Disparity
Race-Specific Groups Take Aim at Academic Disparity – http://pulse.me/s/80jGD
Race-Specific Groups Take Aim at Academic Disparity
By Daarel Burnette II, Star Tribune , Minn. (MCT)
Students who used to self-segregate in the school cafeteria sit at the same tables now, joking and laughing. After school, in the lecture hall down the hallway, minority students and teachers are deep in discussion about race, class, culture and academics.
Four years after a surge of racial diversity erupted into fistfights and emotional faculty meetings, Woodbury High School is a very different place. Students and teachers are chalking it up to “Be the Dream,” an after-school student-teacher group that tackles head-on issues of race and the achievement gap that have left minority students lagging white students in test scores for years. In Minnesota, the gap is one of the widest in the nation.
The progress in Woodbury goes far beyond lunchtime banter. In 2009, 72 percent of Woodbury’s black students were proficient in reading. By 2011, 85 percent were—higher than both the district and state averages. Minority students are shouldering leadership roles in student.
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Are America’s Schools Failing … or Thriving?
Are America’s Schools Failing … or Thriving? – http://pulse.me/s/7IzHH
Romney Blames Teachers Unions For Decline Of California Schools, Ignoring Roll Of Tax Cuts
Romney Blames Teachers Unions For Decline Of California Schools, Ignoring Roll Of Tax Cuts – http://pulse.me/s/7OecJ
Recent Internet Addiction Studies Include Porn
Recent Internet Addiction Studies Include Porn – http://pulse.me/s/7pMKu
Or Die- Black Ice
Speaking on The Industry Ills..
Police: Zimmerman says Trayvon Martin Knocked Him Down, ‘Slammed his Head into Sidewalk’
Police: Zimmerman says Trayvon Martin Knocked Him Down, ‘Slammed his Head into Sidewalk’ – http://pulse.me/s/7pJRF
How To Be a Great Leader (in under 300 words)
How To Be a Great Leader (in under 300 words) – http://pulse.me/s/713Ih
Schools offer incentive pay
Schools offer incentive pay – http://pulse.me/s/7mDM1
